I recently had someone tell me that they wished they could be as happy and giggly and joyful as I was “all the time” … and then it felt as though the world stopped, a divine appointment. I took a deep breath and shared something about myself with that individual that few people know. I’ve recently come to except sharing this part of my journey, bearing the scars, to use misery for ministry.
It’s true. I like to smile, laugh, be silly and excitable, but friends …. you must know that I have known misery too, and not just once. I know what it means to struggle getting through the next hour, knowing the sovereignty, goodness and faithfulness of God, but having a body that can oppose these very truths so strongly believed… I have fought this exhausting battle.
But I have also grown, and I’m not the same. I can never go back to who I was. I look back and see His hand, and the closeness that I’ve gained with Jesus has been worth it all – every ounce of the ugly. I can no longer sit silent and have others believe things about me that simply are not true. The truth is that once we have found true joy, we can’t ever lose it.
True joy is not subsequent to ideal circumstances – it is subsequent to all circumstances. In every situation there is grace, we need only look for it, call it out and give thanks. I think of Paul in prison, worshipping after being severely beaten – that is the kind of supernatural joy I’m talking about, the kind that no physical illness can rob from us. Friends, I have worshiped in affliction and I have worshipped in victory and I have known the same joy in both.
